Wednesday, February 27, 2008
warning: anti-bicycling musings ahead Okay, I get that there is a lot of pressure to dress in madly matched printed spandex clothing, strap on a helmet that MIGHT save your bean if you're going 5 miles an hour on grass, put a tiny little seat up your ass and then ride 60 miles on a road barely wide enough for 1 car with no bike lane. I'm one hundred percent supportive of this sport. What I am NOT supportive of is the fucking attitude that accompanies said sport....(was that my outside voice)? Am I to be treated as less because I'm in a car wearing regular person clothing? Do you think you are going the speed limit or perhaps "Share the Road" is an epithet only for carlubbers. Is road biking an adrenaline, life risking sport? Is it part of cycling etiquette to ride 3 miles an hour, 6 abreast, and turn to give me dirty looks because I CAN'T PASS YOU ON THE BLIND CORNER? Do you think I'm tailgating you, because I'm not THIS IS AS SLOW AS MY CAR GOES! People, I try to share the road, I know Cartwipple is a "kick ass awesome road" to train on. I get that, what I don't get is why that stupid little helmet shrinks your brain and erases all memories of WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN A CAR. I know, that every single one of you had to drive to Stepford to pick up your "sooper cool kick ass awesome" bikes and squeeze into that fugly spandex uniform, so get over your bad ass self, dial down the Lycra, and get in single file. Your life expectancy just might improve.