Sunday, February 22, 2009

He's a Keeper

Below is a Craigslist add which my husband came across. Craigslist has lots of fun little nuggets if you're lucky enough to find them. ++++++++++++++++++++++++ To the woman that crapped in my car. We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that. I thought we had chemistry sitting at McFadden's sharing that basket of jalapeno poppers while drinking Guiness. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you. At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive. I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat... What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract. I await your call, Tad P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.Touché. Location: Las Vegas, NV it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 1039266988


Jodi said...

Now THAT'S funny! Is "shat" really a word????

tallulah said...

Any man that wants a second date after you crapped in his car is definetely a keeper...or maybe just desperate.

Anonymous said...

dump this bastard! come on!!! wake up and realize that your living with a goddamn crossing guard who forces kids to wait until they only have 5 seconds to cross the goddamn street. This isn't a keeper, he's guy F'dup!

Buddy Stone.