Urinal Photos

It's been so very long since I've blogged forgive me if I'm out of practice. My first piece after such a long hiatus will be a very short cautionary tale about taking photos of yourself peeing.

He who will not be named has a running joke with a friend where they text each other completely obnoxious, bordering on obscene, photos of daily randomness. At one point in time he thought it would be funny to take a photo of a urinal he was using and text it over. So he did.

Later over beers as he was re-living the hilariousness of this joke he realized the photo had also captured a wee bit of his pee-pee.

So instead of texting his friend he sexted him and that my friends is why you should be very careful when taking pictures of urinals in which you may be peeing.

Who Used the Last of the Cow Dung Toothpaste and DIDN'T FREAKIN' REPLACE IT?

Taryn Simon risked life, limb, and a good night's sleep to give us insight into what confiscated black-market contraband tells us about American desires. Quite excited to see just how freakish the underbelly of our American landscape is I immediately scrolled through the list of images.

Are.you.fucking.kidding.me? You lost 5 days of sleep to let us know just how unimaginative Americans really are -- drugs, pirated media, African art, Cuban cigars, and counterfeit money -- whew didn't see THAT coming <insert rant on the poor state of investigative journalism>.

Okay, okay, so there are 475 more images hanging in a SOHO gallery and soon to be found on the coffee tables of America. But where are the titillating teaser items that are going to inspire me to to drop $150 bucks to basically see shit my neighbor buys? Below are the most interesting items on the list, and I'm pretty sure my neighbor has at least two of them.

Plastic Pitcher of Salami | Really? You can't get this at the corner bodega?

Cow Dung Toothpaste | Probably not available at Costco for obvious reasons

Deer Penis | Save yourself a fine and come on out to Idaho; we're lousy with all sorts of penises during hunting season! Take your pick.

Cow Hoof Bottle | Nothing like passing around a cow hoof flask at the campfire; best to be drinking while you contract foot and mouth disease

Read more here

Bat Boy, the Musical

My girlfriends and I kicked off the 4th of July weekend with an evening of culture at the Idaho Shakespeare Festival. We saw "Bat Boy, the Musical" based on a news item in The Weekly World News who, incidentally, has adopted the image of Bat Boy as their logo. 

I'm guessing each of you is old enough to remember seeing this 1992 news worthy event on your local grocery store newsstand. It was the story of the summer that year.

In 1997 someone with a lovely sense of humor decided to make it into a musical. It's certainly not for the traditionalist but if you enjoy dancing hillbillies, a tent revival, ambiguous incest, and a good death scene then this play is a must see. It runs through July 24th. Bring your PBR.

I leave you with the opening chorus:

Oh, hold me, Bat Boy! Touch me, Bat Boy!

Help me through the night.

Love me, Bat Boy! Save me, Bat Boy!

Make it all turn out all right!

Whew...

As most of you know by now my biopsy was cancer free! Of course during the two week wait for the good news we already had a worst case scenario plan - no to chemo and the girls were coming off. That's how bad chemo is, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure. I'd rather lop my boobs off than go through that again.

But the news is all good and we have stopped holding our collective breath. Summer is sort of here, the rivers are going down and the raft is (almost) ready and the Middle Fork is calling us! All is well in our world.

Thanks for all the good thoughts y'all sent our way.