Sunday, September 19, 2010

Who Used the Last of the Cow Dung Toothpaste and DIDN'T FREAKIN' REPLACE IT?

Taryn Simon risked life, limb, and a good night's sleep to give us insight into what confiscated black-market contraband tells us about American desires. Quite excited to see just how freakish the underbelly of our American landscape is I immediately scrolled through the list of images. You lost 5 days of sleep to let us know just how unimaginative Americans really are -- drugs, pirated media, African art, Cuban cigars, and counterfeit money -- whew didn't see THAT coming <insert rant on the poor state of investigative journalism>.

Okay, okay, so there are 475 more images hanging in a SOHO gallery and soon to be found on the coffee tables of America. But where are the titillating teaser items that are going to inspire me to to drop $150 bucks to basically see shit my neighbor buys? Below are the most interesting items on the list, and I'm pretty sure my neighbor has at least two of them.

Plastic Pitcher of Salami | Really? You can't get this at the corner bodega?
Cow Dung Toothpaste | Probably not available at Costco for obvious reasons
Deer Penis | Save yourself a fine and come on out to Idaho; we're lousy with all sorts of penises during hunting season! Take your pick.
Cow Hoof Bottle | Nothing like passing around a cow hoof flask at the campfire; best to be drinking while you contract foot and mouth disease