So I had my yearly boob squish and MRI this week. The gal at the mammogram place was quite thorough if a bit on the creepy side of cheerful (the kind where you know they're hiding a syringe of some knock-out drug in their pocket just waiting for you to poop on their cheery). And the radiology tech was suitably sadistic and smashed my boobies til she saw tears. And....they found nothing.
Next day I got to head downtown to the MRI tube where they fumble around with IVs and make me wait an hour for the pleasure of lying face down in a tube with my boobs hanging free, and being shot up with dye. The MRI technician who was there to help me be appropritely splayed out for maximum picture value had certainly soaked her hands in ice water for at least 10 minutes prior to stretching out my skin...nice. I hear they have warm water in the hand washing sinks.
Turns out the MRI found something in the left breast (last time it was the right) and now I get to have an ultraSound and biopsy. For all of this I get a $2500 bill and a free St. Luke's cloth shopping bag....really?
Thanks, but I'm pretty sure I already have FIVE HUNDRED of your free bags and guess what? They don't really make me feel better when I'm facing CANCER. Jesus people....who came up with that idea....hmmm, well we're gonna make our paitients be poked, prodded, shoved, shot up, and mostly radioactive...but I bet a AWESOME NEW BAG will help ease their pain.
In their defense there's really nothing that will help, but if they're giving out free shit how about a set of scrubs...at least then I have something to wear to all those freakin' appointments!