Saturday, June 13, 2009

He's Still Got Game

One Friday evening this summer I went to a bbq with my girlfriends and therefore did not follow my usual schedule of meeting my husband in Hyde Park for beer and crack (and by crack I mean anything fried). So he opted to head downtown for dinner and drinks with friends. During the evening he and his single hot buddy found themselves at the Falcon sharing a table with a mixed group of people who they chatted up throughout the night. Right after said group left, a gal came rushing back in and here is what ensued: Gal: My friend wanted me to give you her card Single Hot Guy: Wow, awesome thanks Gal: No, not to you, to him My Husband: Thanks, but I'm married Gal: Oh that's too bad, I'll tell her And I classically found the business card in his pocket the next day while doing laundry. Here are the things I love about this: 1. He tells me stories such as this knowing full well it's just adding to my repertoire of funny stories to share at cocktail parties or the random zinger. 2. Pushing 40, long blond hair, probably unshaven and wearing a shirt he most likely found crammed in the far reaches of his closet my husband has still got game!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Can I Get You a Seat in Hell?

Recently a girlfriend told me her 9 year old son tried to purchase his way out of being grounded and it got me thinking about what other non-traditional items might be available for purchase. Here is what I found: Register a Star: $50.00 + (The scientific community would like to be very clear that they do not recognize your star named Cleo....huh, really?) Create a Constellation: Free, you just need a star map, a pencil, and an imagination (Although not as clear on the subject, I'm sure we're all safe in assuming the scientific community also does not recognize the constellation you named in honor of your dead cat). An Island: $27, 500 unless you are thinking tropical then it becomes "price on request" translated to "if you have to ask, don't." Two Week Tour of the Moon: $100,000,000 to reserve a seat (gotta love the Russians, for a country raised on communism they get capitalism better than we do). Immortality: $90, 000 is just a ballpark estimate on what it will take to be cryogenically frozen (On a side note, do you really think it's worth the cost to come back to life at the age of 89? My money is on someone who can freeze me at 89 but bring me back at 29). Seat in Heaven: At $15.95 this is probably in the more affordable range (the scientific community hasn't weighed in on this yet....chicken shits). Seat in Hell: $15.95 can apparently get you north or south, although the southern marketing is focused on you finding a seat in hell for someone else (again, not a peep out of the scientific community on this one either). Getting Un-grounded: $3.00 is a conservative estimate, but I am guessing negotiation skills are far more important here than dollars.

Natural Selection

Natural Selection, introduced by Darwin in the 1850s, can be defined as the process where certain traits make it more likely an organism will survive long enough to reproduce; it's a key mechanism of evolution and one that was not supported last week when a few young men went off trail in order to pee on Old Faithful When have you ever had to pee so bad you were willing to risk falling through the earth's crust to a scalding death...and do it all on camera. I'm just not sure that the outcome supports natural selection.