Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Can I Get You a Seat in Hell?

Recently a girlfriend told me her 9 year old son tried to purchase his way out of being grounded and it got me thinking about what other non-traditional items might be available for purchase. Here is what I found: Register a Star: $50.00 + (The scientific community would like to be very clear that they do not recognize your star named Cleo....huh, really?) Create a Constellation: Free, you just need a star map, a pencil, and an imagination (Although not as clear on the subject, I'm sure we're all safe in assuming the scientific community also does not recognize the constellation you named in honor of your dead cat). An Island: $27, 500 unless you are thinking tropical then it becomes "price on request" translated to "if you have to ask, don't." Two Week Tour of the Moon: $100,000,000 to reserve a seat (gotta love the Russians, for a country raised on communism they get capitalism better than we do). Immortality: $90, 000 is just a ballpark estimate on what it will take to be cryogenically frozen (On a side note, do you really think it's worth the cost to come back to life at the age of 89? My money is on someone who can freeze me at 89 but bring me back at 29). Seat in Heaven: At $15.95 this is probably in the more affordable range (the scientific community hasn't weighed in on this yet....chicken shits). Seat in Hell: $15.95 can apparently get you north or south, although the southern marketing is focused on you finding a seat in hell for someone else (again, not a peep out of the scientific community on this one either). Getting Un-grounded: $3.00 is a conservative estimate, but I am guessing negotiation skills are far more important here than dollars.


Jodi said...

Very clever! Does it really cost only $3.50 to get un-grounded? Evidently inflation hasn't hit that market yet, used to cost me $2.75 and that was 40 years ago.

tallulah said...

I'm already going to hell for free! I wonder if I could just pay the $15.95 in advance for heaven JUST IN CASE I don't like hell...(but I'm sure I'll love it!)

elle said...

Will you put up a new post already?